Visions from Insanity
by MysteriousBreeze
Summary: Hermione finds herself alone with a raving lunatic of a potions master. HG/SS but in a different way R&R please
1. The Raven

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter Universe, That's J.K Rowling's job. But, I am the creator of this plot!  
  
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Visions From Insanity   
  
  
Sixth Year Potions had been particularly excruciating that day and Hermione Granger was just not up for the challenge of enduring another class. She was mocked and humiliated for completing the perfect night-vision potion and her friends half-heartedly defended her, shying at the potion master's cold glares. She was beyond respected by any of her other teachers...but this one, Professor Severus Snape, obviously saw nothing special in her. Or perhaps her talent was overlooked simply because she was a muggle-born Gryffindor.   
  
Instead of going to History of Magic class featuring the ever exciting Professor Binns, she decided to read and eat lunch in the library. So at the beginning of lunch, she slipped out of the Great Hall with a small bundle in her hand before her friends could spot her. Harry and Ron were rounding a corner and she figured she should duck out of sight before they questioned her, besides, she was still mad about their not defending her in class. And there, huddling behind a large gargoyle, she heard something quite unexpected.  
  
"It's not a big deal really, Harry, you just have to consider the facts. Hermione just doesn't understand...You can't blame her for ignorance, can you?"  
  
'Ignorance? What's this all about?'  
  
"You don't get it!" Harry said in an exasperated tone, as if he'd been explaining this to Ron for the hundredth time. "I hate it, I hate not being able to talk to her! Why can't she just understand this isn't going to work! ...Talk to her, yeah right, talk to her!" he ended with a sort of huff that seemingly finalized the subject.   
  
Instead of bringing up such a sensitive topic again, Ron steered their conversation to the one thing that sated both boys, anything as long as it had the word 'Quidditch' in it. Their speech echoed across the walls as they entered the Great Hall and the memory of their previous troubles quickly faded as they sat down to eat. Well, only for them anyway. Hermione was still crouched down next to the gargoyle thinking about their conversation. Whatever it was, Harry seemed very frustrated and she decided she would confront him about it...when she could tolerate human contact. So on she went to the library, encountering no more obstacles.  
  
There were fifteen minutes of lunch left and students were still in the library. Hermione chose a secluded spot to put down her things and went off searching for something interesting to read. Before long, she found a small dark blue book nestled between two larger, brighter books. This caught her interest, so she pulled it out from the row and flipped through the pages, getting an idea what it was about. It contained information about certain mental conditions that affected only witches and wizards. There was a short list near the end of the book which contained names of subjects whose mental ailments were unknown and given up on. Among them she found Severus Snape.   
  
Suddenly quite interested in her new findings, she flipped to the beginning of that particular chapter and read on. Skimming through the irrelevant facts, she found the information she was looking for in a short paragraph.  
  
'The only two persons diagnosed with this particular mental condition are Elena Snape and Severus Snape. The fact that the prior is the biological mother to the latter raises questions as to whether this mental condition is genetic or if the said subjects have undergone similar treatment and/or experiences. There were no reported cases similar to the phenomenon of this mother and son. Due to lack of information and the fact that there are only two cases introduced, the medical examination has been closed.'  
  
'Professor Snape? Mental condition?' It made sense to her seeing as how the professor was always just a little creepy. As fitting as this may have seemed, she checked out the small book and left it in her pocket to deal with later. Checking her watch, she realized she had some time to kill before classes would be over and she would be expected back into the common room, so she decided to take a stroll around the lake.  
  
Hermione contemplated several things as she walked along the edge of the lake. What with Harry seeming quite bitter before lunch earlier and her new found knowledge of Professor Snape, She didn't realize a tall shadow coming in her direction.   
  
She was surprised to hear an old dry voice behind her, "Skipping class, are we? Well we'll just see about that!" She turned around to see Filch staring coldly at her. "Lets just see if we can get you into a detention, eh? How about after dinner..." His words were cut short by yet another looming figure headed in their direction. "Ah, Professor, I was just informing Miss Granger here she'd be off to detention with you after dinner!"  
  
"A detention, is it? I suppose there isn't anything else to be expected," he said staring straight at her, "from such ...careless Gryffindors." Hermione felt quite uneasy seeing as how she just found out he was a maniac.  
  
"Well, off with you girl, 'less you want another detention!" Filch screeched and Snape could only curl his lips into that disconcerting smile of his. Hermione trudged off, disappointed at her lack own lack of caution when she ran into Harry coming from History of Magic.   
  
He halted looking for a second concerned about her, but he just as fast turned completely around and walked in the other direction. Confused, Hermione was set to run after him, but thought better of it just in time. Ron came shooting out of a corner almost knocking her down, and without even a glance, He chased after Harry. Something was definitely up. Standing there thinking about it was not going to help, So Hermione found herself chasing after the boys screaming at them to stop. When apparently, her loud yells would not go by unnoticed by even the dead, they were forced to stop and turn around. By this time, Hermione had followed the two of them into a deserted hallway and for a second, She was sure she'd chased the wrong people. They looked determined, but for what she did not know.   
  
"What are you two up to? You've been ignoring me since Potions!" yelled a quite exhausted Hermione.  
  
It would seem Harry had signaled to Ron some how, because Ron backed off and ran off into the direction of the Gryffindor common room. At this point, Hermione was very confused and stared at Harry as if he'd lost his mind. After a long moment of his unemotional staring, She just got anxious.  
  
"WHAT?"   
  
And at her outburst, Harry launched himself at her, pinning her against the far wall with his right hand around her neck. At this sudden discomfort, she did what came naturally to her and screamed. Sense came to her as Harry was looking at her with sympathy in his eyes. But as soon as it had come, it left and entered an emotion she'd never seen in him before. With his hand around her neck, he brought his head up next to hers and whispered into her ear.   
  
"Hermione...Why can't you just understand? You're so much...but no, I guess he's wrong." He whispered sadly and dropped his hand to his side. "You'll never understand..." He stood there, arms at his sides and so close to her, she could feel his harsh breathing on her shoulder. For a long moment, neither moved, the air was tense and time seemed to be slipping. "Let's go. No time to stop by the dorms, Dinner's in thirty minutes." And with that, He was back to his normal self, talking about things he normally talked about. Hermione was immensely relieved and accepted his outburst of emotion as he'd done for her during their years as friends and classmates. With that, they set off towards the Great Hall back in cheery moods.   
  
After finishing a particularly delicious strawberry cream puff, Hermione realized she had a detention with Snape in just a few minutes. She said her hurried goodbyes and quickly left the table and out the room. She rushed through the halls to get to his class on time...but as she entered the hallway to the potions classroom, she felt very nervous to meet her now proven maniacal teacher. 'It's not as if he'd change just because I'd read a book!' but she was anxious nonetheless.   
  
There came a sudden crash from his room accompanied by a loud yell. Before she could think, Hermione let instinct take over and hurried to help whoever was in despair.   
  
By the time she entered the room, She realized where she was and exactly who she'd walked in on throwing things. Snape was standing in the front of the room with a clearly angry expression on his face. She meekly entered the room and realized there was nobody but him in there. What exactly could he be so angry at? As soon as he saw her, she froze on the spot and looked up at him like a scared puppy. He walked over to her in long strides, quickly covering the distance between them. At this point, Hermione was frightened out of her wits and just stood there, waiting for something to happen. Snape blinked once. He picked her up by the collar and before she realized what was happening, the room was spinning in circles and she found herself lying in a heap on the floor with an immense pain in her side. All around her were shards of shattered glass, they were undoubtedly decanters she'd broken during her fall. She looked down to where the pain was most acute and found a rather large shard of glass coming straight out of the side of her stomach, like a very wide arrow.   
  
She noticed him coming again in her direction. This time, she was prepared to fight despite her grave injury. She glared up at him, but before she could say or do anything...  
  
"WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME?"   
  
And his voice echoed through her mind as she gave into the darkness pulling her away from consciousness.  
  
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....Boy I'm really abusing Hermione here @.@ poor girl, oh well, it'll all be explained in later chapters *cough cough* tell me, is it too fast paced? Please R&R! it's my first fanfic, of any kind! oh good goshness, i can't seem to figure out how to format any of this stuff, someone explain please! -sushi 


	2. Rests

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter n' stuff, I just like to borrow them n' stuff...n' stuff  
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Hermione woke with a horrible headache. Before she could put any thought into that, She realized that she was not in her own rooms. In fact, she opened her eyes to find herself sitting upright on a large bed with her back leaned against the headboard. And even more to her surprise, There was a sleeping Proffessor Snape with his head on her lap! With this newfound revelation, Hermione shrieked and jumped off the bed, all the while removing her wand from her pocket.   
  
Snape woke with a start, shaking himself out of sleepiness.   
  
"What the hell are you doing here?!" He yelled, more surprised than angry.  
  
"Ex-excuse me?!" She yelled back shaking her wand at him and creating quite a good impression of Molly Weasley. After a moment of getting herself together, she shrieked "You're the one who...You nearly killed me!"  
  
At her words, The professor looked quite shocked, he really hadn't done anything of the sort, had he? Getting off the bed and looming over her, he said through clenched teeth "WHAT are you talking about, Ms. Granger?"  
  
"You...you almost killed me" she said dazed, because she could not remember whether it really happened or if the experience was a dream. She lowered her hand and looked down to her side. She was shocked to see drying blood soaking the side of her robes. Though Hermione was surprised and quite disgusted, she felt no pain. "It's gone...I swear, there was a giant piece of gl-"  
  
"Ms. Granger, just tell me how you got in here," He said in an eerily calm voice. "It would have been impossible for you to get in here on your own. Students cannot barge in here as they please!"  
  
"I told you already, You attacked me! You attacked me..."  
  
Sighing, he rubbed his temples and opened his mouth to speak, but before any speaking could be done, a loud knock sounded from the middle of the far wall. "Albus." He said under his breath.   
  
Walking towards the door, he glared coldly at Hermione, "Stay where you are" as if she'd had anywhere to go. He muttered several unlocking and releasing spells before the large wall split in half and created a short entrance way. There stood Albus Dumbledore, with his usual smile and nod of greeting. He ducked under the entrance and popped something that looked like a lemon drop into his mouth before he spoke.   
  
"I see." Was all he'd said.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Hermione and Snape said in unison, Though he'd spoken with a bit more malice in his voice.  
  
"You've found her, have you Severus? I suppose it was inevitable now that I look back on it. It might have been a bad choice altogether...Might have." Dumbledore was looking especially contemplative at the moment, so Hermione snuck a glance at Snape who, in her humble opinion, was a creepy psychopath.  
  
"Sir, I woke up in here, I...I was to serve detention at 7'o clock last night and I came on time..." but Hermione couldn't finish her sentence because she quite frankly did not know whether what her memory was telling her was true or not.   
  
"Ms. Granger, would you mind meeting me in my office at 9 AM? Perhaps in the meantime, you can change and sleep for a while longer. I will discuss this with Professor Snape. I trust you are not hurt?"  
  
Hermione nodded numbly, knowing that she had to follow the headmaster's requests. On her way out, She did not realize that her small book was not in her pocket, and that it was on the floor next to Professor Snape's bed. She'd accidentally dropped it there when she snapped her wand out of her pocket.   
  
Hermione couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that something very, very bad had happened even if she didn't get hurt. 'How would that explain the blood? What just happened??' She found herself thinking about it all the way up to her dorms. Checking her wall clock, she discovered that she had three hours to shower and catch a nap, she did just that.   
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
In the meantime, One very confused Severus Snape was pacing his living room as the headmaster explained some unexpected information. "You see Severus, you did have a mother...you were never an orphan. Her death, it was too much for you to bear! I simply could not see you so hurt. Therefor, I had no choice but to cast obliviate on you.   
  
"I reasoned that you did not need the painful memories of her death when Voldemort first disappeared. My spell worked to some extent, I realized afterwords that you casted a charm to block the effects of a memory charm when you were a student here. As i said, My spell worked to some extent, It erased your memory of specific subjects, such as your mother's death, but you still harbored feelings of deep sadness and loneliness even though you didn't know why. My spell backfired..I still do not know all the effects I've caused."  
  
Dumbledore conveniently left out the fact that he had also erased Severus' memories of being insane.   
  
"Somebody must have really made you angry yesterday, before Ms. Granger came to visit you." Dumbledore tried to avoid the subject altogether, but Severus suspected that he was hiding something.   
  
"I understand that you worried for me and did what you thought was best...But I charmed myself to resist the obliviate spell for a reason. I would appreciate it if you do not try something like that again." He said with as much dignity as possible while he was still coping with the fact that he had a mother. "What was she like?"  
  
The headmaster looked very sad at Severus' words. "I'm afraid to say I have never met her, in the flesh. I can assure you that she loved you very much, and you her. That summer after your seventh year was undoubtedly your hardest." There was something in what Dumbledore had said that made him feel sudden anger.   
  
"Why?? If you knew I loved her so much, why did you take away her memory? Why did you have to bring it back?!" He could only shout hoarsely, as he'd done a bit of yelling earlier as well.  
  
"Severus, You were still feeling the pain of her death even though you did not know her...I can give you a chance to be happy again, will you let me help?"  
  
"Albus, I'm feeling quite tired now. I will talk to you in the morning, Good Night." He said curtly and motioned towards the door. Dumbledore left with his usual nod, but did not say another word as he stepped through the stout entrance way.  
  
Though he was quite tired, Severus could not bring himself to sleep. Wanting to drown out thoughts of what just happened, he headed towards his bedroom to collect a book out of his private library. Upon entering his room, he noticed a small blue book near the foot of his bed. He strode towards it and gently picked it up. 'Magical Mental Maladies, what could this be?' He skimmed the pages and realized what sort of information the book contained, yet it had no reason to be in his bedroom. He was thinking along those lines until he reached the list of recorded patients. Severus was undoubtedly shocked at finding his name. and directly above it.. "Elena, where are you!?"  
  
He took the book in his hand as he left his chambers. Searching blindly for his lost mother, fate led him to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
While Hermione was in the shower, she noted that there was a tiny scar where the glass had been deeply pierced only hours ago. After sufficient cleansing, Hermione got out and changed into her school clothes. Though she would be taking a short nap, she figured it would give her more time to sleep if she didn't have to deal with pajamas. Hermione got on top of her bed and lay down next to Crookshanks, not bothering to deal with blankets. She slept, yet after about an hour, she realized that no matter how hard she tried, she could not get back to sleep. Plus, Crookshanks seemed to be stretching out more by the minute, right in the middle of the bed, no less. Hermione decided she could afford to get up an hour early, she was restless enough as it was. Quickly going about her morning rituals, she deemed her teeth flawless and hair adequate. She picked up her bookfilled bag and out her room. As soon as she opened the portrait hole, the only thought that came to her mind was 'Too many things happening to me at once, damnit' as she saw Professor Snape looking straight at her.   
  
"Y-yes?" Apprehension grabbed her as the memories of early morning came flooding back to her.  
  
"Elena...I was looking for you for so long..." He said dismally and placed his hand on her cheek. 'THIS....was unexpected' she thought as she managed to swat his hand away.   
  
"What do you think you're doing?" she said defensively as she backed up into the now closed portrait. The fat lady was certainly displeased at the situation. He swiftly closed the distance between them and put his arms around her waist in a desperate hug. He choked out a whisper, "Mother..." 


	3. Only in Comfort

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter or any of the characters related, but I do own this plot (however weird it may seem)  
  
PUH-LEEZE READ THIS, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND, MY CHILD:  
  
Well, I suppose I should clear a few things up. It might seem confusing, about Snape's mental thing... Basically, what happens is he reverts to either memory. I actually have a pretty scientific reason ^_^ well, in theory anyway. Before anything happened with Dumbledore messing with Snape's memory, he already had a problem. However much knowledge and information he could gain, his mindset was stuck in the form of a child. Basically, he could learn new things but only in a third person sort of way. He was able to see things through different shoes but not change his 'style'. (like being angry at other people for small things even though they couldn't help it, bad example though)   
  
He was stuck in the most comfortable memories he'd had...Almost immediately after he became a double agent, he went insane. So to take away the pain from fighting Voldemort's psychic hoo ha, he just lived in his good memories. When his mother was always with him. So in his first outburst, he was really confused as to why his mother wasn't with him. He was fighting Voldemort's call again at the time, and he couldn't handle it (making him go to his nice nice memories) That's when Hermione walked in and he subconsciously chose her to play the part of his mom.   
  
The thing is, I made it sound like what Hermione was saying was concrete. Example: "'Professor Snape? Mental condition?' It made sense to her seeing as how the professor was always just a little creepy."(first chapter). Though I wrote the statement in the narrative, I was merely portraying her view on the subject, not the whole truth. So I'm not justifying Snape's personality as a mental condition. Nuh uh, that's just him. His mental condition keeps him in a child-like state. It's...different and the rest will be explained during the duration of the story. I'm sorry if I made Snape seem that if he were sane, he'd really be a 'regular' person, because I of all people would hate it if that were to happen. Dude, Snape's Snape. Can't try to change that, can I?  
  
Dumbledore cast Obliviate on Snape, seemingly making him forget his memory, but that's not really what it was. The memory wasn't just erased but blocked by a wall in his mind. Meaning, he can only remember one set of his memories at a time. Before the time of this story, he rarely changed to his other set of memories, but he did change once in a while (when fighting voldemort's calls) making it noticeable to people who spent enough time with him. But after his subconscious chose Hermione as his 'mother', it sorta poked a a big whole through the wall, making it easy for him to revert to either set of memories, but not mush them together. So basically, when he remembers who his mother is, details about her and acts as if Hermione really is his mother, that's when he's "switching memories" BUT his character is the same, even if one is more simplistic than the other (might seem).  
  
the above goes out to Lauren-sorry about the mixup, just because someone has a mental problem doesn't mean they don't have a personality, right? I'm sorry if i accidentally uhm, insulted you (if i did...), I didn't have all the character come out in the first chapter because I want to keep a suspenseful yet eerie mood...........is it working? i'd like another review from you @.@   
  
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Hermione simply gawked at him and the situation for a moment before anger overcame her and she threw him off of her. Not wanting to take any chances, she screamed "Petrificus Totalus!" as soon as she could. 'I guess I'm not going to breakfast,' she thought.  
  
She levitated a quite paralyzed Professor Snape towards Dumbledore's office. Luckily, she met nobody on her way there. When they'd gotten to the entrance to the office, she checked her watch. 'oh..thirty minutes early, oh well, this can be considered an exception' she thought while staring at her seemingly deranged potions master.   
  
"Peppermint!" and the door opened to reveal a well decorated room.   
  
"Ah, Ms. Granger, I wasn't expecting you so soon! Did you get enough sl-" and with that he promptly closed his mouth.   
  
"He...attacked me again this morning...well this time, I'm not quite sure if it really was an attack." She said, confused by her own words. "OH! Finite Incantatum!" she said loudly as she realized how agitated her professor must have been getting.   
  
As soon as she'd released him from her spell, he fell to the floor and glared up at her. "WHAT may I ask was that all about?!" he yelled at both of them.  
  
"No! Proffessor Snape was outside, outside of the Gryffindor common room! He was waiting for someone named Elena..." and the name suddenly became significant to her. "Your mother, it was your mother!"   
  
Professor Dumbledore got up from his seat and peered over his stack of books to stare straight at him. Snape was agitated, but more than anything, he wanted answers. 'What the fuck is going on?' he thought as Hermione was edging over towards the both of them, "Ahem, Professor Snape, Classes will be starting soon, perhaps it is best if you go to your classroom to prepare for your lesson. I will be sending Ms. Granger to her next class."   
  
Snape left the room staring blankly at Hermione, who was as confused as He.  
  
"Alright, now lets get down to business," said Dumbledore. After looking down at his desk, he simply asked, "You've checked out 'Magical Mental Maladies', have you not?"  
  
"Yes, sir" she said, looking at the floor. She felt ashamed for something she could not control.  
  
"I trust you've uncovered the reasons behind Professor Snape's sudden outbursts?"  
  
This time, she could only nod.  
  
At this, he smiled. "I feel that I have a great deal of responsibility in this...problem. Alas, his feelings regarding his mother are something I cannot control." He seemed strained to say this next part, "You see, He's subconsciously chosen you as the part for Elena." A small noise from her at this instant, but it soon faded. "It is something nobody can dictate, but we can help him. I've learned from certain sources that both he and Elena have worked as double agents against Voldemort. The author of the book you've read didn't have that specific bit of information. I can't be sure, but I believe this to be the source of his...insanity. As you know, his mother was the only other person to have been diagnosed with the same mental illness as him.   
  
"He's told me himself that working as a double agent against Voldemort was very difficult. He's informed me that Voldemort keeps a variation of the Imperious curse on all of the members of his inner circle. Apparently, successfully fighting the voice that drives Voldemort's other supporters leads one to insanity.  
  
"I can't keep him like this any longer." He looked solemnly into her eyes.  
  
"What do you mean, professor?" She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
"I'm saying he would be happiest if you were to be his mother. I'm asking you to pretend to be Elena when he turns."   
  
She was curious as to what happened to Snape's mother before she agreed to anything. "Sir, if I may ask, where is Professor Snape's mother now?"  
  
He sighed and replied mechanically. "She has passed away. She died during a raid against a small village which was mostly comprised of witches and wizards. Nobody there knew she was working as a double agent. A small group of wizards found her hiding in an alley and saw her death eater robes. They killed her believing they were doing the right thing. I received this information from Professor Snape shortly before I altered his memory."  
  
"Altered, sir?"   
  
"I'm afraid so...It was by my hand. I could stand his depression no longer, but my spell backfired and turned your professor into the cold person many see him as today. He held onto the bitterness that the memory of his mother's death would have left him with, but he had no understanding of it. It led unto more bitterness until he found no good in much of anything but people like himself...and me because I am the last good thing he remembered before he was Obliviated."  
  
"Kind of ironic..." she said before she'd realized it.   
  
He laughed a little. "You're quite right. But still, I must ask you if you will be willing to be his mother until he is comfortable in your presence and will not revert back to his 'normal' self at the slightest change in environment. Will you do this for the both of us?"  
  
She nodded, as was customary to any of Dumbledore's requests, but a thought came to her. "How long do you think this transformation would take, sir?"  
  
He sat back down at his desk and looked as if he were thinking deeply. "I would say perhaps a month. He has changed since your last encounter with his...deranged self, has he not?"  
  
"But...what will you do after he does not change back? Surely you can't have a teacher who has mad fits and calls out to his mother!" She looked horrified at the thought, and figured perhaps maybe, that the normal Snape would actually be better than any new enlightened one.  
  
"At that point, we will make sure that he never has to come back to his Obliviated self again." When she looked confused at his answer, he elaborated a bit furthur. "There is a death draught in my own stores that I've kept with me should a mission of mercy arise. I believe it is the time to use it for the mercy of his tortured soul. He will surely die happy with his mother beside him."  
  
She looked completely shocked from his answer.   
  
Sometime later, after a bit of tea and a talk with Dumbledore, she trudged to her Arithmancy class.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The day had been draining, and Hermione found herself asleep within her dormitory by 8 PM.   
  
Her dream that night had been entirely confusing. She was in the shrieking shack, not alone, but after much of trying to get her friends' attention, she realized they could not see or hear her. She stood in the far end of the room, listening and waiting for something to happen. She couldn't move from her spot, she walked in vain as her legs floated in mid air.  
  
"Harry, what should we do about it?" Ron looked imploring as he flicked pebbles off the table and into the fire. "You know she'll think it's something horrible..."  
  
"We should at least try to explain to her...I tried earlier, but I scared her on accident. Damnit, we can't do this without her!" He had leaning with his elbows on his legs and his hands on his head. "I'll tell her the truth next time...We can carry out our plans when Hermione is with us," he said with his hands still on his head.  
  
"And after?"   
  
"We'll begin recruiting. We have to be careful...not to gain attention amongst the staff until we have our plans full and ready. They will not understand until we can present our ideas in a way that won't sound bad... Why does the magic community have to consider everything that isn't familiar as something horrible? "  
  
"Don't worry Harry, if they truly consider your answers, even wizards and witches will appreciate what we're going to do! It took me a while to understand too, don't you remember?"  
  
At that, Harry smiled and was reassured. But Hermione stood in mid air and was horror struck. 'What are they planning? What wouldn't I understand that RON does?'  
  
Ron smiled and stated nostalgically "Doesn't this remind you of spew?"  
  
The last thing Hermione could remember in her dream was Harry's soft laugh.   
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-WHEW that was the most difficult chapter I've written yet. A lot of explaining just took place @.@ I hope this satiates some of you for at least a bit, and PLEASE Read and Review! I need the reassurance to keep writing. *boo hoo* well thanks for reading anyway, you can expect the next chapter to be up within the week! (I'm on a roll XD) btw, sorry for making dumbledore slightly ooc, I needed a character who could explain...stuff @.@ and yes, I'm aware I said spew instead of S.P.E.W. That's how Ron says it! It's funny! Not lying! *sobs* 


	4. Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the universe in which the story is based. Uhh, i own the plot though, however much that's worth ^_^;;  
  
Also, just a note, Harry and company are friends with Draco now, so don't think it's all weird that they're acting kinda buddy/buddy in later chapters...he's not actually 'in' this chapter, but there are references to him blah blah blah...blah  
  
Ah, also, I keep forgetting @.@ Credits to my beta, Alexiel! thank her for all the capped i's and extra commas ^_^  
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Severus had woken up quite late the next day. Before he'd gone to sleep, the only thing in his mind was his mother. No matter how hard he'd tried to remember even having a mother, there was a gentle voice telling him not to try so hard, just to relax and be peaceful. He'd tried over and over to recall anything about the missing pieces in his life, but there was no sudden understanding...and so he'd eventually given up.  
  
Finally, tired of staying in bed doing nothing, me looked at his clock. '...Missed breakfast two mornings in a row..'  
  
After taking a quick shower and getting dressed, he summoned a house elf for coffee and toast. Waiting for the elf to come back with his food, he sat in a chair in his living room, looking up to the ceiling with arms on each of the armrests. He forced himself yet again to think about his mother and the bizzare events taking place as of late. He could think of nothing relating himself to Hermione Granger, yet everytime one of these catastrophes had happened, she was always close at hand. After Severus thought about that for a while, he realized that he didn't remember much of anything about the detention she'd supposedly served two days ago. 'I will interrogate her if I have to...What is her role in this?' he thought maliciously.  
  
The especially small house elf came back with a rather large cup of coffee in one hand and a tray of rainbow colored toast. She explained to him, "It is only magic, sir! The toast will taste normal." and she disappeared with a pop.  
  
Frowning at the eccentric colors of the toast, he quickly ate it and drained his coffee. With this, he felt less hungry, but somehow more tired. But instead of going back to sleep as his body begged of him, he left his quarters and climbed the stairs to his classroom to prepare the sixth year double potions lesson. He cringed, 'Gryffindors.' Severus figured the day's project was not difficult, and he and his class would get by without too much explaining.   
  
Placing the specified materials in the ingredient cabinet, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, the small blue book lying on the floor next to his desk. He picked it up and placed it in the pocket on the inside of his robes. 'This..to present my case to that Granger girl. That Granger girl...'  
  
He was completely and utterly wrong about his not having to worry about the class. Neville Longbottom had only managed to explode his potion and set fire to several others. Hermione was able to salvage hers, but it bubbled violently and gave off a disgusting smell. Severus deducted 33 points for the mess Neville had made. Not surprisingly, this was the difference of house points between Gryffindor and Slytherin.   
  
He'd dismissed the class early save Hermione, deeming the Gryffindors as 'helpless dunderheads'.   
  
"Yes, Professor?" She asked timidly, not quite sure if he remembered the uncomfortable moment in front of the Gryffindor common room the previous morning.   
  
"Did you drop this?" He said, pulling out the book she left in his bedroom.  
  
"Oh!" she sighed, "I was looking for that everywhere!" Hermione extended her hand to take back the book, but he was not yet ready to return it to her.   
  
"Why, exactly, did you check this particular book out of the library?"   
  
"It..It seemed interesting..." She didn't finish, as she had a bad feeling of where this conversation was leading to.  
  
"And have you read the entire book?" He seemed determined when he asked this, proving Hermione's inclination was correct.  
  
"No, sir." She knew he'd read about his mental condition, and was probably calculating if she'd known as much. "But..." She didn't look at him when she said this next part, "I did happen to find the information about you, sir."   
  
"I see..." He was contemplating what exactly he wanted to know next. "Tell me what happened on the night of your detention...and of yesterday morning."  
  
She sighed again, and at a loss for what to say, she told the truth. "I came to detention on time. Before I opened the door to the classroom though, I heard yelling and shattering glass from inside. I hurried to help anybody that might have been in trouble, and perhaps defend them, but when I entered the room, there was only you. The moment you saw me, you practically ran up to me and threw me across the room...I blacked out after you screamed something I can't quite remember..." She left out the fact that she was wounded by a large piece of glass, as it would only have made the situation worse. "I..woke up in your bedroom," She paused for a moment. "Your head was on my lap, and you were sleeping before I jumped off the bed..." she finished, quite depressed with the memory.  
  
Though he was surprised by her reply, he could only ask, "And in the morning?"  
  
Hermione coughed and tried to find a way to steer the conversation somewhere else, or even end it altogether, but finding none, she resumed her explanation of the events.  
  
"I was on my way to breakfast when I came out of the portrait hole, but you were standing there, I think... waiting for me. And when you saw me, you hugged me..." She looked up at him. "And you called me 'Mother.'"  
  
He was horrified with this news and sharply dismissed her. Hermione was distressed at his dismissal, and she loooked sadly up at him. "I wouldn't mind...being your mother," she lied, and with that, she left.   
  
She had to lie, Dumbledore's request had to be carried out, and there was simply no way she would actually not mind being Snape's mother. 'Of all people, couldn't it be one who's pleasant to be around?'   
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hermione was on her way to the Gryffindor dorms to drop off her things, but she spotted Harry waiting for her in the common room and stopped by...and she remembered her dream.  
  
"What did Snape do to you this time?" he said, openly annoyed at the thought of their potions master.  
  
"Oh, nothing really, we were just discussing why and how my potion went wrong." She felt horrible for having to lie so much in just a few minutes.  
  
"That was Neville's fault! ...Oh well, he gets blamed enough for things as it is... at least Snape didn't yell at you." He paused for a while, as if thinking of what to say next, and if he should say it. "Hermione, I was thinking... There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."  
  
She looked at him strangly at his remark. "Yes?"  
  
"Ron and I were talking with Draco a little bit ago."   
  
'How long ago was a little bit?' she thought, but was listening again to Harry.  
  
"We knew that his father was trying to get rid of muggles and muggle-borns for a long time now, but Draco told us the plans were going to start soon. That if we were going to do anything, we should start soon, before something...bad...happens." He said, sounding so solemn that Hermione found herself listening intently. "You were in the library studying at the time, and after talking with Draco, Ron and I knew we had to act soon, before Lucius Malfoy goes on a killing spree.  
  
"The ministry of magic proved themselves useless years ago...We've decided there's nothing to do but form our own justice against Voldemort and his death eaters. Hermione, we can defeat him, but we need you."  
  
Though she nodded at him, she wasn't agreeing to help just yet, only signifying that she knew the circumstances. "Harry, what's to happen if Voldemort learns of this new 'group' going out against him? He'll kill all of us if he gets wind of these plans!" and in her head she thought, 'So...this is what they've been hiding..why has it been such a big secret with him up till now? In my dream...In my dream they were talking about...making the plans sound pleasant..what could be wrong with this?' She pondered over this for quite a while, making Harry impatient.  
  
"Well? Are you going to help or not?" he seemed demanding.  
  
Not wanting to anger him, she decided she could agree for now and think about it later. "Al-alright. I'll help with your..plan. What am I supposed to do?"  
  
Upon hearing her answer, he hugged her tightly and said "Nothing for now...We still need more recruits. At the moment, we don't even know where Voldemort is...I'm going to try and convince Draco to join. For now, lets just go to lunch and we'll talk about this later, when there's nobo..nothing to distract us, alright?" He smiled at her, "By the way, Draco says he misses you."  
  
She laughed and they headed towards the Great Hall, forgetting their worries for a while. 


	5. Is an Illusion

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this story or the settings or the names or the squid or the general mood o.o okay, i own the mood, and the plot and the choice of words and the blah blah blah. you get my point.  
By the way, don't think it's weird that I keep reverting from 'Severus' to 'Snape'. I change it depending on the mood of the current situation. like below ^_^ *points arrow down* NO, not down there, down there! *goes away*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hermione sat up in bed. It'd been two days since Harry had told her about his 'plans' and she hadn't heard anything from him about the subject since ...And... two days since she'd been practically interrogated by Snape.   
  
Whatever the case, she realized that she couldn't go back to sleep now. She was a light sleeper and waking up once kept her awake. Seeing there was no point in staying in bed, she quietly got up, keeping in mind not to wake up the ball of fluff next to her head. Dumbledore had awarded the top student from each house a private, seperate room from the rest of his classmates. This left Hermione the choice of doing whatever she wanted as long as it was confined to her own rooms, and of course, not to bother her cat.   
  
She took a long and refreshing shower and used a quick-dry spell on her hair before it got frizzy and unmanageable. Hermioine looked at the clock and it read 3:00 am, it was still dark outside. She changed into dark yet casual clothes so she would be harder to spot if Filch or his cat were prowling about. looking at the mirror, she deemed herself fit to sneak about the castle for her own amusement.   
  
She left her room, quietly closing the door and sneaking down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. As she expected, there was nobody there. With this, she went through the portrait hole and ventured the long corridors to find the entrance of the castle. She had no idea what led her to come in this direction, but on impulse, she left the confines of the castle walls and set off towards the lake.  
  
The moonlight was glistening off the surface of the lake, leaving a beautiful yet eery blue color in her surroundings. Off to the left was the forbidden forest, mysterious and dangerous things lived there. No, she did not want to go there. Hermione sat by the lake, leaning against a tree for support. For a long time, all she did was watch the lake, it left her in a trance and for once, her mind was blank and she didn't feel the need to think.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Ms. Granger." Severus leaned against the tree next to her.   
  
The sun was barely coming up, and the cold still prevailed despite the few tiny rays of sunlight escaping the overhanging clouds.  
  
She blinked her eyes open, and realized that she'd fallen asleep against the tree. In her sleepiness, she didn't realize who was next to her, only that she was waking up from a comfortable rest.   
  
She yawned "What time is it?"   
  
Taken aback by her casual attitude, he didn't check his watch. He only stared at her, yawning and stretching in attempts to wake herself.   
  
"Good morning, Elena"  
  
She was startled by his words. Not only had she thought it was Harry or Ron talking to her, she certainly hadn't expected to be called Elena. After a short pause, she responded.  
  
"Good morning Severus" And she peered over at him, wondering if that was the proper response.  
  
"You always loved this spot, these flowers do grow best in the summer." he stated with a complacent look on his face.  
  
Seeing as how they were in front of a lake and not a bed of flowers, Hermione was quite shocked to realize that Severus was holding her by the hand, leading her into his so called 'flower bed'. Before she could scream though, she collected her thoughts and stated in a strong voice.  
  
"No, Severus, I do not wish to touch the flowers today."  
  
He dropped her hand and said, "You were always going on about the flowers...they're right there. It is not a long walk."  
  
She put much thought into her next words "I..I wish to go home." She used short, to the point sentences so as not to deviate from what Severus expected to hear from his mother. 'Better to say less than miss the mark completely.'   
  
He stared at her, distraught at her words. "I'm sorry, Elena... It's been my wish to return home for years, but you know you can't return... I'll stay with you forever."   
  
She was completely confused as to what to say next, all she could muster was a small "thank you..."  
  
With that, he hugged her, as if fearing to let go. "We have to figure out...a way...to keep you safe from Him, Elena. He'll take you away from me, He'll steal you"   
  
With Severus, this particular chain of thoughts brought 'sanity', and he found himself standing next to a lake, hugging Hermione Granger desperately. Immedietely, he let go and gave her a horrified look. She looked to her toes, embarassed by his sudden change in attitude.  
  
"What are we doing out here?" asked a very confused Severus.  
  
Instead of answering his question, she decided to conduct an experiment on his mind.   
  
"They're beautiful, the flowers, aren't they? Let's go touch them." She tried to lure memories from him, of her encounter with his hidden self. She pulled him by the hand to the water, slowly dragging him across the short stretch of grass to the edge of the lake.   
  
But he didn't react as she had hoped.  
  
"Ms. Granger! Do you plan on drowning the both of us?"  
  
She stifled a giggle.   
  
"Was I...Different?" He inquired, at a loss for what to describe himself as once he switched memories.   
  
She made a small nod. "Can...Can you remember anything?"  
  
He shook his head slightly, and it came to him that he was standing in very close proximity to a student in the wee hours of the morning. This was certainly not proper, and panic brought him to say things a bit more sharply than he'd intended.  
  
"Ms. Granger, 15 points from Gryffindor, and every second you stall here will cost you another 5. Go to your common room, and I will speak to Dumbledore of the..incident..in the afternoon." He ended coldly, daring her to question his authority.   
  
She didn't.  
  
She made her way back to her dorm and slept again, missing breakfast, and after she showered and dressed, 20 minutes of Potions. 'Oh....shit' she thought lamely, and headed down into the dungeons to face the wrath of the potions master.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
tbc, sorry the chapter's sorta short, even shorter than the other ones *cough* yeah. It might still be confusing, but the story is beautiful in my head, getting it down on paper is the problem o.o. I've decided, i'm going to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist just to see if my theories were correct! lol. Well, see y'all later, it's only seven, but I need a nap. g'night, everybody!  
  
-kiki 


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